this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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