he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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