i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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