She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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