I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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