I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
