can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
