dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
