The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
