peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I think i peed on brittanys purse
found the other keg... it's in the tree
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
we're so committed to being not committed
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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