I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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