I am in a vortex of obligation.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
