just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
