On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
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