Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
