We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
