that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
