garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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