I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Actions speak louder than pants.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
