We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Bang-toberfest begins!!
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
