so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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