You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Drunk is a universal language darling
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
