We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
that's an acceptable place to lick
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
