SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Randomize
