I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
