So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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