'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
