All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Please, let me fuck your mom
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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