So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
