Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Randomize