you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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