the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
porn star boner night. come get it.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Randomize
