So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
