Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize