Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
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