as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
