i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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