so explain again why im purple
no
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
