it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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