wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
