glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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