He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
