I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
