don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
