IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
