I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
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