Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
