I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
