It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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