it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
