don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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