You work out of a Hotel?
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
