Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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