quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
