I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Randomize
