this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
