sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Randomize
