I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
