How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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