If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
This toilet bowl is my home.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
