It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
