im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
