my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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