Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
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you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
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Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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