A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole