She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
