I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
